tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post7114264739263657411..comments2023-09-21T08:16:34.587-05:00Comments on Paige's 365: LetterPaigehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03363407716857644014noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-5094129810577290292010-11-19T14:22:30.098-06:002010-11-19T14:22:30.098-06:00Good for you for writing that letter, and I too th...Good for you for writing that letter, and I too think you should send it! Even if nothing happens with jackass, at least let you have closure.Billyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02344488411103420236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-63519501523159930082010-11-18T22:29:47.511-06:002010-11-18T22:29:47.511-06:00It's a great letter. Send it. And I agree with...It's a great letter. Send it. And I agree with Rachel, send it to several people above the jackass in power. So glad to hear about what your dad is saying.Dorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-61913180461315655202010-11-18T19:00:53.643-06:002010-11-18T19:00:53.643-06:00Great wording. I'd send it. The people going t...Great wording. I'd send it. The people going to that church definitely deserve somebody who is nicer, and maybe this might at least force him to be a bit less 'fire and brimstone' when talking to the next hapless person who goes against his idea of what is 'right'!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-80368411670129657862010-11-18T14:43:14.314-06:002010-11-18T14:43:14.314-06:00Your letter is perfect, Paige. It's not emoti...Your letter is perfect, Paige. It's not emotional, but factual. His supervisor needs to know so that he doesn't do this to anyone else. It will be a "learning opportunity" for him :)hopefulcchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12006055748711190904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-10747958449644118072010-11-18T11:42:02.247-06:002010-11-18T11:42:02.247-06:00I think you need to speak up. I think speaking yo...I think you need to speak up. I think speaking your truth will help you to feel better. <br /><br />I am not a churchgoing person, so the details of mail versus email and contact information or no and all of that I think others have spoken to well. I just think that it will be important to you in the future for you to have said something.<br /><br />But then, I just wrote a whole post at Our Mommyhood on Tuesday about how I don't speak up when someone is insensitive to my SMC status, so what the hell good is my advice?MommieVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01802987098837731695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-68811236230112721262010-11-18T11:09:00.916-06:002010-11-18T11:09:00.916-06:00I would send it, but probably as actual physical m...I would send it, but probably as actual physical mail not email. And I think I would sign it but not include my contact info, perhaps also including the bit about not contacting me. But are you sure you don't want the parent church to contact you - at least for apology? I know if I received such a letter I would want to make what amends I could. <br />I think you have a moral obligation to send it to PJs superiors - you have a wonderful support system but think of the damage that man could do to some lost soul just trying to find their way. Big jerk. Not that I'm belittling your horrible experience, but like you said, no one should have to go through that!musicmakermommahttp://musicmakermomma.livejournal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-15734963352053728942010-11-18T11:01:55.035-06:002010-11-18T11:01:55.035-06:00I'd probably send the letter. Then again when ...I'd probably send the letter. Then again when I was treated really badly by some of the elders in my mom's church I sent them a letter too. It may not resolve anything but it would possibly make you feel better. I like rachelbk's idea. Maybe you could post it in the town newspaper? Ok so maybe I'm a vindictive bitch. <br />Yay dad! I'm so glad your family is supportive of you in this whole mess with Mr. crappy pastor.battynursehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02240029154165501340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-75202769399697020822010-11-18T07:48:35.282-06:002010-11-18T07:48:35.282-06:00Oh, and just another thought....is it possible to ...Oh, and just another thought....is it possible to send the email to more than just the boss? I think it should go to the board or council or whatever group you have at the church. The choir? Ladies Aid? Altar Guild? Tell them all. I would hate for the letter to be quietly shredded with no one ever knowing it existed...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-64485772577688034332010-11-18T07:43:54.917-06:002010-11-18T07:43:54.917-06:00I'd definitely send it. I know you don't ...I'd definitely send it. I know you don't want to stir up trouble, but if you can save even 1 person from going through an awful experience like yours, it would be well worth it. Pastor Jackass needs to be held accountable for his actions, but if no one else knows about them, he never will be held accountable. <br />The call from your dad made me cry. I am so happy your family is supportive of your decision. My family continues to faithfully attend the church w/a pastor who put me thru a similar experience, and I feel it's a slap in the face to both me and my son.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-60359853329645461042010-11-18T07:13:23.271-06:002010-11-18T07:13:23.271-06:00I think you should send it if it will bring you cl...I think you should send it if it will bring you closure & peace of mind. I don't think it will change their views but maybe it will open their eyes to how they present them & spur them to be more accepting & compassionate.Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-44445999068440167112010-11-17T23:29:20.214-06:002010-11-17T23:29:20.214-06:00Hmmm.. I think if you truly want to let this go fo...Hmmm.. I think if you truly want to let this go for YOURSELF, then don't send it. Perhaps the act of writing it and sending it out into the world is enough. I guess you have to ask yourself what your motivations are - what outcome do you really want to happen and is it likely or possible? <br /><br />I certainly don't think what Jackass did was ok, and I'm furious about it, I hope you know. But, at the same time, its better for you (mentally? emotionally?) to not harbor resentments.<br /><br />I always say that resentments are like eating poison and expecting someone else to die. <br /><br />However, I think you should take care of yourself and do whatever you think that is. We're here for you no matter what because you're awesome and perfect just the way you are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-16872585389554543662010-11-17T22:11:13.077-06:002010-11-17T22:11:13.077-06:00My sister had an Ob/Gyn a few years back who, duri...My sister had an Ob/Gyn a few years back who, during her 10 years of IF, told her that she should just give up because she was wasting her 30s on infertility.<br /><br />My sister was shocked and furious, as you can imagine. She drafted a similar type of letter, and I even helped her with it. But in the end, she never sent it.<br /><br />She regrets not having sent it, and it comes up from time to time even still (years later).<br /><br />Your situation is a bit different in that it also involves your dad's relationship with Pastor Jackass. But since your dad is not going back there either, then maybe it would be good to send it. And definitely, add the note about "please do not contact me as I am working hard to overcome the emotional trauma that Pastor Jackass inflicted."inBetweenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17212548401525577878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-18328866614350428822010-11-17T22:00:08.421-06:002010-11-17T22:00:08.421-06:00Send it! Although I don't think you are being...Send it! Although I don't think you are being quite harsh enough on Pastor Jackass. You might even want to cc pastor jackass the letter. <br /><br />And good on your dad! I'm glad your family is so very supportive.Genkicathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16588371829033093762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-77805429640754685412010-11-17T21:49:56.571-06:002010-11-17T21:49:56.571-06:00I think you have to send it. To me, it's clos...I think you have to send it. To me, it's closure on the whole issue. Very sweet about your dad... he has his own way of expressing himself... and he's really trying!BBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14837140513071674102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-56553505506735815072010-11-17T20:41:04.518-06:002010-11-17T20:41:04.518-06:00I would send it....I agree, if you can save someon...I would send it....I agree, if you can save someone else from such an awful experience, then it was worth it. And you can politely ask for them not to contact you anymore should they try. Sounds like Pastor jackass is in serious need of counseling! <br /><br />I think its sweet your dad got upset on your behalf. My dad is similar, doesnt express much emotion, so when he does, it's a pretty big deal. Sweet moments. xoxoxoxKimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16022175407912153277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-52733810356709901682010-11-17T20:22:14.601-06:002010-11-17T20:22:14.601-06:00I would send it, too. You were very clear and con...I would send it, too. You were very clear and concise in your letter and not sounding overly emotional at all. But at the same time you made it clear just how inappropriate (and unChristian!) Pastor Jackass was. <br /><br />Oh, btw, I love your Dad!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14647211529119137824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-26583131293698276172010-11-17T19:59:25.372-06:002010-11-17T19:59:25.372-06:00I would send it. The way he treated you was wrong ...I would send it. The way he treated you was wrong on so many levels and he needs to be called on it. I know you don't want to cause any problems, but at the very least it should be used as a 'teachable moment'waiting and wishinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12159033292946238622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8837229551123519902.post-47966648866688447642010-11-17T19:47:40.702-06:002010-11-17T19:47:40.702-06:00Paige, I vote for sending the email! It allows yo...Paige, I vote for sending the email! It allows you to "do something." It might (I say might) make one of his superiors really look at this guy and speak with his about offering a little grace to others. <br /><br />I really think I like your dad- he may be a man of few words, but I can tell he loves you. :-)Nellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03273965620333616949noreply@blogger.com