Last Wellness Workshop tonight. I wish I had been in more of a place emotionally to fully participate and get the most out of it. Dumb Infertility. Tonight we had to write a mission statement and mini-goals to help us get there. I had a huge ah ha moment while writing mine. Part of my mission statement is to be more encouraging and gentle with myself. AS I AM WITH MY STUDENTS. I AM this person. I AM gentle and encouraging everyday, all day, hundreds of times a day. I need to find a way to turn this inward. I'm always so harsh and critical of myself. On the way home I was practicing some of my catch phrases I use with the students only putting my own name with them. It felt good. It felt like my authentic self. I know it will take more than catch phrases to truly feel unconditional love for myself. I feel like it's a good starting point though.
Five weeks was not enough to really delve into the issues of my weight. This same counselor offers an ongoing spiritual workshop and I'm thinking of going. Who am I kidding? I'll go if B. goes. I'm not brave enough to go it alone for something like this.
It's funny but since I got the news of my old, shriveled eggs, food has really and truly taken a backseat. I didn't turn to food perhaps because this news was so overwhelming. The first few days especially, food was really and truly fuel and that's all. Everything tasted like sawdust and I had to force myself to eat at times. I haven't even thought about or felt the need to binge. It's kind of disconcerting. I'm scared that binging is just around the corner waiting to pull me back into the safe, comforting world of food. I keep thinking if I can get through the hardest thing in my life without binging to comfort or distract me, I can get through anything without it. If anything good at all has come out of this whole infertility mess, please let it be unlocking the chains that tie my emotions to food.
Showing posts with label Wellness Workshop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wellness Workshop. Show all posts
Monday, February 1, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Response From My Body
Dear Paige,
Thank you for your letter. While I am happy to carry you through life, until the end of your life, I beg you to remember that the strength, health and healing that you enjoy now will not last forever. These "good times" will come to an end quickly if you do not begin to value me as well as take care of yourself emotionally and spiritually.
You should also realize that while you have done lots of "bad" things to me, you have also done many, many good things for me. Remember the bazillions of hours of walking and riding bikes you have done, the many healthy home-cooked, well balanced meals you've prepared for me? You take vitamins, try to stay hydrated, brush my teeth, keep me clean and you always get help for me when I'm feeling poorly. And even though you have lost the battle of making me healthier more times than I can remember, you never give up. These are not the actions of a person who hates their body.
I know that even during the darkest times, you are striving and sometimes struggling to achieve a better, happier, more active life for us. You are coming closer and closer to making that connection between physical, emotional, spiritual. It will be a lifelong challenge for you, but I know you are one of the special people who can become and remain successful. Remember that I am just a shell, YOU HAVE GREAT THINGS INSIDE YOU! Never forget that.
Love,
Your Body
PS Perhaps a letter to your heart is in order...she's feeling a little left out.
Thank you for your letter. While I am happy to carry you through life, until the end of your life, I beg you to remember that the strength, health and healing that you enjoy now will not last forever. These "good times" will come to an end quickly if you do not begin to value me as well as take care of yourself emotionally and spiritually.
You should also realize that while you have done lots of "bad" things to me, you have also done many, many good things for me. Remember the bazillions of hours of walking and riding bikes you have done, the many healthy home-cooked, well balanced meals you've prepared for me? You take vitamins, try to stay hydrated, brush my teeth, keep me clean and you always get help for me when I'm feeling poorly. And even though you have lost the battle of making me healthier more times than I can remember, you never give up. These are not the actions of a person who hates their body.
I know that even during the darkest times, you are striving and sometimes struggling to achieve a better, happier, more active life for us. You are coming closer and closer to making that connection between physical, emotional, spiritual. It will be a lifelong challenge for you, but I know you are one of the special people who can become and remain successful. Remember that I am just a shell, YOU HAVE GREAT THINGS INSIDE YOU! Never forget that.
Love,
Your Body
PS Perhaps a letter to your heart is in order...she's feeling a little left out.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Dear Body
Dear Body,
I've been asked to write a letter to you as part of a Wellness Workshop that I am taking. I've been asked to be kind... That is not easy for me, Body, since as you know, it is difficult for me to even look at you much less find nice things to say. However, there are some things I like about you. I like that you are healthy and strong yet soft. You have carried me through 38 years in health, healing me when minor health issues arise. I like that when I apply myself I can feel you become leaner and stronger. I like your cute toes and little ears, rosy cheeks and blue eyes. I like the shape of your legs and I think you are the perfect height.
You are amazing in that you tolerate all the hate and abuse I pile upon you. Physically, mental, emotionally. I've given you a rough time, Body and for that I apologize. You have stuck with me, Body, through thick and thin and for that I love you.
Paige
I've been asked to write a letter to you as part of a Wellness Workshop that I am taking. I've been asked to be kind... That is not easy for me, Body, since as you know, it is difficult for me to even look at you much less find nice things to say. However, there are some things I like about you. I like that you are healthy and strong yet soft. You have carried me through 38 years in health, healing me when minor health issues arise. I like that when I apply myself I can feel you become leaner and stronger. I like your cute toes and little ears, rosy cheeks and blue eyes. I like the shape of your legs and I think you are the perfect height.
You are amazing in that you tolerate all the hate and abuse I pile upon you. Physically, mental, emotionally. I've given you a rough time, Body and for that I apologize. You have stuck with me, Body, through thick and thin and for that I love you.
Paige
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