Fabulous day! End of summer school. AND we got paid for it! My mind was racing spending all that dough...but I know I'll be spending most of it on fertility treatments. Good to feel rich for a short while though. I'm so looking forward to this break.
Eclipse was fabulous!! Definitely the best of the Twilight series so far. So romantic with plenty of action. Great special effects. Team Edward or Team Jacob? Well, I'll just say Jacob was so completely ripped that my eyes bugged out when I saw him. Guess I'm officially a cougar. Fun to see it with a big group.
I've lost 10 pounds in the last three weeks. Wahoo! I hope I can continue. We went to Shogun tonight after the movie and I ate till I was about to burst. I was so uncomfortable. I noticed at our table of 7 people I was the only one who didn't take any food home. Why didn't I notice I was full and STOP? Insanely, I thought about getting ice cream on the way home. It simply is not normal to eat that much food, and then even think about more.
I've been thinking about all the emotions I've been having involving S's surgery. I think part of it is that I wonder if people are looking at me and thinking She should really be having that surgery too. I feel defensive when I talk to anyone about her surgery and have to be really careful about what I say and my tone of voice. I feel like I should explain: There is absolutely nothing wrong with the digestive system God gave me. Even though I'm very obese, I'm healthy and none of my doctors have ever mentioned gastric bypass for me. It is clear to me that my problem is not just the size of my stomach. A surgery won't cure my emotional dependence on food. I'm learning more about my food addiction everyday and still have a few good weight loss tries in me. Although I would love to drop 100 pounds very quickly, being able to wear cute clothes is just not enough of a reason to have a serious surgery. Wish I could have all that printed on a t-shirt.