Just home from a co-worker's wedding. I really am terribly shy and gatherings like this are difficult for me. I was dreading it and nearly talked myself into making an excuse and not going. But I went. It was ok at first even though I felt like the only single person there. I was able to make conversation and seem normal. I just feel so fat and awkward at these things. As the evening wore on I was more and more uncomfortable. Everyone always wants to take pictures ad nauseum and then there's the dancing. Ughh. I'm just not comfortable throwing my fat around like that. I finally cut out early. I don't think anyone really noticed or cared. I did not cry on the long, lonely drive home....but I wanted to.
How I wish I was one of those socially graceful, outgoing people who have fun where ever they are.....why do I have to be such an awkward, ugly, backward schlub?
One of my many wishes for my donor egg baby is that they are genetically outgoing and likable. Some one who is actually happy to go to large gatherings and talk and laugh with many people.