I just got my calendar for my "July" cycle. Looks like the transfer won't be until August 3 or so which is also my birthday. To use a worn out phrase, it feels so "been there, done that". I was so very eager and thrilled to get my calendar the first time. This time I'd say I was more relieved...one more thing that passed without a snafu. Little did I know two months ago that I would change from a woman with baby dreaming stars in her eyes, to a woman who woke up to the reality that a million things really could go wrong and who only feels relief as each step passes.
It all seem so far away. The calendar doesn't even begin until June 27 and meds don't start until July 8. Nearly a whole long month to wait before I'm even "on" the calendar. Thank goodness I have summer school and my grad class to keep me busy in June. July is going to be one long month.
I can't believe how much I HAVEN'T been thinking about it. Gone are the days (for now) that I obsessively think about my donor and upcoming transfer. I don't worry that she's taking her vitamins, eating her veggies or driving safely. Although I still think any egg donor is an amazing person, and I know for certain this is the perfect donor to help me start my family, I'm not filled with awe and amazement that she would do something so life altering for me, a stranger. These are things and many more that I thought about every day, many times a day in the weeks leading up to my cancelled cycle. Now I barely remember to squeak out a quick prayer for her each night.
The excitment will return as the transfer date gets closer.