Wonderful dinner with Jae and her friend Mo tonight. It was supposed to be a birthday dinner for Jae but everyone canceled except me. What's up with all the cancellations lately? Anyway, Jae is very, very excited about this baby. Not something I expected from her but adorable just the same. Offered me hand-me-down stuff from her niece and nephew. They are two of the few people who know about my donor situation. Both she and Mo asked all sorts of questions and were very kind and understanding about my situation. Kept asking and asking about names and colors. Jae said she was proud of me for going forward with the whole thing. First person to say that. She and Mo are lesbians in their late 40's and I have to wonder if they have thought about going through with some sort of donor situation themselves.
Funny that some peoples' reactions aren't what I expected. I never thought Jae would be so, so happy for me. KO at work had a very low key reaction. Quietly said she was happy for me and that was about it. She's 50 and single without children and I remember a few years ago, maybe 10 or so, she looked into adopting but didn't go through with it. Because of her age or not wanting to pay the money or both, I can't remember the details. Jae seemed to think she had the money but didn't want to spend it. A single woman needs monetary security. I get that. But I know how bitter and jealous I would be if I was in that situation, alone and knowing I'd be without children.(I was in that situation for years or thought I was heading that way). I sorry that she was unable to proceed with a family for whatever reason.
And yes, now that Jae mentioned it. I am proud of myself for being brave enough to try for this and to keep trying even though at times everything seemed against me. There was such great joy waiting for me the whole time. I think about KO and truly believe, "There, but for the grace of God, go I"
DollFace: What are you going to name the baby?
Me: DollFace, of course.
DollFace: That's my name!
Me: What do you think I should name it?
DollFace: (without hesitation) Rosie
Me: What if it's a boy?