Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Maternal Fetal Appointment

Big appointment today with a Maternal Fetal Specialist.

The important stuff first. This doctor is good looking too. I swear I'm meant to marry a doctor, I find them all so attractive.

He and his staff were perfectly lovely. The nurse asked me if I was ok to talk about what happened and the Doctor spent a few moments asking about my emotional well-being. These may seem like small things but it made the whole appointment much more sympathetic and easier to get through.

I got answers to two things that have really been nagging at me all this time.

He said that he thinks the membrane ruptured prematurely first causing the abruption because there was no discharge before the huge gushes of fluid and because it took me awhile after being induced to deliver. The other two weren't able to tell me this and would only say they didn't know which happened first.

He really seemed to listen carefully while I told about what happened and asked a lot of questions about the details. I told him that when I got to the hospital, nothing was done. I was told I could only lay there and hope the rupture would heal itself. Even though I told the nurses I was cramping every 5-10 minutes, they did nothing at all. This doctor said that was entirely appropriate protocol and was exactly what should have been done.

I feel an incredible sense of relief knowing these two things and a little of my trust for Dr. H. has been restored.

He believes there may be some cervical issues. I can't tell you exactly what he said but I guess the sac could have sort of sagged down through the weakened cervix (hence the pressure I felt an hour prior to the gush of fluids) The area it sagged into below the cervix is acidic and harmful to the membrane causing it to weaken and break.

So going forward, if I'm very lucky and get pregnant, he will be monitoring us closely, checking me every week or every other week with an internal ultrasound for changes in the cervix and if necessary treat the problem with a cerclage or medication or bedrest.

Toward the end of the appointment he asked me to hop up onto the exam table and he listened to my heart. I can't figure out why. I have no heart problems and you can't check a cervix through a stethoscope. I wonder if it's because patients feel more confident in a doctor who does at least some sort of physical exam. I'm also wondering why he didn't do a pelvic exam.

He also told me I would need to go off of antidepressants 30-60 days before an embryo transfer not for physical reasons but to make sure I could emotionally handle being off of them. If I can't handle it, he'll put me on something different that I can stay on.

I also had an appointment with RK, THE counselor. I told her about going off of the antidepressants and she said under no circumstances am I to go off cold turkey. I'm to be under doctor's orders and her watchful eye.

It's all a bit intimidating going forward and of course terrifying, but I am hopeful and it feels good to have that emotion again.

While I was running around to appointments and lunch, my dad and bro were here tiling. Slow work and I feel guilty I wasn't here to assist. But maybe better to be out of the way?

In between the two appointments, I had lunch at Jilly's Cupcake Bar with some co-workers. Very yum.




  1. Great to to hear about your appointment. I just love the cupcakes - a photo says more than a thousand words.

  2. So good to hear you got some answers and some resolution on how you were treated at the hospital. That must lift some of the weight off your shoulders.

    I am really happy to hear you starting to mentally and physically prepare for a try at Greyson's sibling.

    (but grumbles for making me ridiculously hungry for a cupcake! man those look good...)

  3. I'm very happy that you got answers to questions that have been bugging you. It sounds like this guy is really up on his stuff and I love the fact that he and his staff were kind and warm to start off the appointment. That is a rare find right there.
    Your pictures are absolutely wonderful! They make me really hungry for cupcakes!!!

  4. Glad to hear your appt went well. It is wonderful that you were well cared for physically and emotionally. And those are some seriously yummy looking cupcakes!!!

  5. What an insightful and reassuring appointment, I like your new doctor already. Sometimes answers are all we need to be able to move in emotinally, otherwise we can get stuck in a viscous cycle of circular thinking with no closure.

    Those cupcakes look sooooooooooooooo good!!!!!

  6. It sounds like you found a great MFM! It must feel good to finally get some answers, and to know that you'll be so closely monitored in your next pregnancy.

  7. Oh, that is soooo great to hear such reassuring words and to know what the plan going forward will look like...and, Paige? - it is so nice to hear you sounding like your old self again. Yay for cupcakes!!!

  8. Wishing you so much love and luck going forward!

  9. Your sounding good, P! I hope you get the green light in all areas! I'm praying for you!! : )

  10. Sounds like a busy, but positive day. So happy you got some attentive care, answers, relief, hope, and awesome looking cupcakes!

  11. I am so happy your appointment went well. It sounds like good news all around. The cupcakes look amazing btw!

  12. I'm so glad they were compassionate and you got some answers. It sounds like they laid out a good plan for you.

    I believe that both MFM practices give you the option of only seeing them so you technically may not have to see Dr.H at all for your next pregnancy. (Some people like being co-managed and others prefer just having 1 doctor.)

    Also, I'm one of the few people that I know who wasn't on an anti-anxiety med for a rainbow baby pregnancy, and in hindsight, I'm not so sure I shouldn't have been. I almost think they should just switch your meds now and not bother taking you off of them, because once you are pregnant again there's a very strong chance you are going to need them. The anxiety that comes with a subsequent pregnancy is so intense that there isn't really a way to describe it, but I totally underestimated it. So don't feel bad if you think you still need them or the weaning off doesn't go well, in that case just skip weaning off and switch to whatever they would put you on during pregnancy.

  13. Oh those cupcakes look yummy.
    I'm glad you got some answers and felt reassured by this doctor. One thing I would say about the anti depressants. Even weaning off of them according to Dr's orders I've in the past still had a pretty bad mood crash. It did subside after a couple of weeks but I had some bad days. Hopefully not everyone has this but I know I did.

  14. Great that you doctor was able to answer your questions and be so reassuring... and lovely that he and your nurses are so mindful of how you're feeling given everything that you've been through. Sounds like you're in good hands :) Love the cupcakes - YUM :)) xoxo

  15. Paige, I am glad that the appointment went so well. I am so glad to hear the hope back in your voice. :-)

  16. That didsound like a great encounter. I read such courage in your words. Looking forward to hearing the next chapter.

  17. I started anti-depressants after the miscarriage in summer 2009 and am still on them today, with no break. That's means through FET, pregnancy and delivery. And thank goodness because there were times in my pregnancy and especially the debacle of my c-section that could easily have taken me over the edge. So DO listen to the doctor and do NOT go off cold turkey.

  18. I'm so happy you are assembling a "crack team of experts" to help you with this pregnancy! If they all work together with you this will be brilliant.

  19. Glad to hear all these positive things :) AND THE CUPCAKES LOOK DELISH...I am a cupcake fanatic!!!

  20. I'm so glad to hear of your positive appointment with more answers than you have gotten for so long... I love that you will get such close monitoring WHEN you get pregnant with Greyson's little brother/sister!

  21. I think I died and went to heaven just looking at those cupcakes.

    The appointment with the doc sounds good. I think it will be less stressful knowing he's following your next pregnancy.