Fun and Frustration

Even though I tried to talk myself out of it, I did go to the dueling piano bar. Two baby grand pianos on stage and the players play back and forth or do duets and sing. Mostly covers of 70's, 80's and current pop songs and everyone is encouraged to sing along. It was just what I needed. Lots of singing at the top of our lungs and laughing, and yes, more than a few beverages.

Dad asked me to bring him some strawberries this weekend if I was going to the store so he could fill them with cream cheese and cover them with chocolate to take to a potluck. When I dropped them off, Dad tells me I should talk to my mother.

Two years ago, Mom got really sick and couldn't eat or if she was able to eat something she would throw up. It started off really mild and she just thought she had a bad flu that she couldn't kick. She lost 100 pounds in about 7 months and was suddenly so weak she could barely care for herself. We had a family vacation planned and she was unable to go, I stayed home to care for her. She finally ended up in the hospital. She got better but we didn't get a real diagnosis, seemed it was a lot of different things plus that she'd let it go so long without seeing a doctor.

The following year, Mom got a tummy tuck, eye job and sort of went crazy. Mom, Dad and I were able to go to the Grand Canyon to fulfill a lifelong dream of Dad's.

Today Dad told me Mom is experiencing some of the same mild symptoms she did two summers ago. I guess he found her doubled up in the flower garden this week. She attacks him if he talks to her about going to the doctor.

When I talked to her about it today, she got mad at my dad for ratting her out. She said it seemed better the last few days and tried to make jokes to distract me and finally said she would go to the doctor when she had lost enough weight to be able to fit into her summer clothes. She said she'd refuse to go to the doctor if I made an appt. She's so damn stubborn.

When we were going through this before, she would lie to me about what she'd eaten and often said it was a "little better" as she wasted away. I think whatever she had did seem to get better, then would get worse many times. I had to be a real bully to finally get her to the doctor.

I'm worried. And angry with her for not taking better care of herself. I'm also feeling helpless and frustrated. I've never understood this aversion she has about going to the doctor. Adults make adult decisions, I can't exactly tie a 62 year old up and haul her to the doctor. grrrr

Three days until Lupron...