Thursday, April 1, 2010

Aunt Fat

I'm disturbed by a few things I've heard DollFace say recently about me being fat. I've talked to her about how it hurts my feelings but she just can't seem to help herself. At one point she said her mom had yelled at Stretch about being fat and that her mom said Stretch could die, and that Stretch had cried. This is really upsetting to me. Stretch is not even close to being fat or even chubby, she's a beautiful child of normal weight. C. has admitted to me in the past that she talks to Stretch about her weight and tells her she doesn't want Stretch to end up with a "problem" like mine. I'm incredibly hurt by all of this. Keep in mind, C is about 30 pounds overweight herself and I have NEVER seen her attempt to do anything active with either of the girls.

I'm wondering if this is the root of the reason Stretch doesn't seem to enjoy spending time with me lately. I'm huge, I get it, you don't want your kids to be like me, and God knows I wouldn't wish this kind of obesity on my worst enemy. But I don't think it's right to push these kind of body issues on a child or to create a stigma (unintentional?) around the unmarried, childless, obese aunt.

I saw my full length reflection in a mirror at the store today and what little self esteem I have was crushed. I really need to figure out my emotional eating problem and conquer it. I feel ugly and out of control.

Fourth day off birth control and no period. Probably why I feel so icky about the above issues. Why can't my body just do what it is supposed to do?


  1. I am so sorry Paige. Weight has always been a struggle for me and I know what it feels like to be judged and outcasted. Children say whatever comes to mind and unfortunatley speak truthful hurts. One of my BFF's sons asked me why my legs were so fat. Even Miss Shelly - my acu lady, called them elephant legs. Ouch. But it's true, so I try not to be offended, but it does hurt.

    Emotional eating can be killer. Sometimes what I need is something that gives me really fast results to keep me motivated. I know they say if you take it off slow you are nore likely to keep it off. But for me if I take it off fast I am more likely to keep going otherwise I get discouraged. Check out Michael Thurmonds 6 week body makeover. It's very strict but very effective. You get to eat frequently (5-6 small meals per day) It's a lot of plannig (I cook my meals on Sundays so it's grab and go all week) but its so worth it. If your intersted in more info let me know. The plan is customized based on your body type My email address is if you want to chat more.

    Keep that chin up high sister. xoxoxoxox

  2. Paige - that just sucks! In the last two years I've gained 35 lbs. - mostly thanks to cycling and all that goes with it (including depression). I cringe to think of what my weight will do with a pregnancy.

    I honestly understand the emotional eating issues and I have a pretty soft heart for many addictions because NO ONE wants to feel so out of control.

    If your SIL is a simple-minded twit, you may want to just talk with your neice and tell her how proud you would be of her if she could learn to be compassionate to others who are different in many ways - and then give her examples, even of her own uniqueness. There is a place in this world for all of us and she needs to respect that if she is to grow into a person others want to be with. Yeah, it starts NOW - at her age.

    Good luck!

  3. Kids are so good at repeating what they hear. They don't realize either when what they say is hurtful. I'm sorry that SIL has said things that end up coming back to you and that are damaging to her children. It's hard to see things like that. They already get enough negativity from the media and school friends etc, to have them get it at home is discouraging.

  4. I agree with all the other lovely ladies above. Kids will say what they have heard and not realize what it means... That's also horrible for your sister to be putting those thoughts into their little heads. You are beaufitul and an amazing person and they really do always say that hurtful things come from jealousy... Hang in there hun!

  5. I am sorry. That is so not nice of your SIL. And probably doing more damage to her daughter - if she is a beautiful child of normal weight, why talk to her about weight stuff? Why make her have issues where she doesn't have? Not to say that finding faults in others seems to me like also teaching her to disrespect others.