So yesterday was a crappy, sad, bad day. Snowcalypse Snow Day #2. I hardly moved from the TV watching chair and allowed myself to drop so far down, it was hard to see a way out. It wasn't even worthy of writing about here. There was no way of release. It was just another crappy, sad, bad day.
Then, I posted on FB that I needed some gold light. Just as a lark...I meant Reiki gold light of healing but I knew most people would think I meant sunlight and I would love some of that kind of gold light as well.
Jae was one of the responders, "I invite you to envision it and I will help ya out a little.....I did talk to my folks in New Orleans....sound good.... ???" About fifteen minutes later, I had a feeling of lightening. I wish I had better words to describe it. The ball of awfulness that tightens my chest up, fluttered away and I felt better...lighter.
I texted Jae, telling her what had happened and asking if that was her making me feel better. She responded that it was a little her, a little me and a little her Reiki master friends in Louisiana who she'd told about me. Can healing energy fly across miles like that? This is mystic, miraculous stuff...a little trippy and crazy but it doesn't matter.
This morning I woke at 5:30 wondering why I made it through the night and feeling that same sad, bad ball starting to form in my chest. Not long after, I felt that lightening again and I suddenly had a .... vision? thought? daydream? I can't say dream because I was awake.
It was my baby's first birthday. Complete with a beautiful baby in the highchair putting hands in a cake and everyone laughing. I lifted that baby out of the chair knowing it was beautiful and alive and mine. I don't think the baby was Greyson because it seems like I would know, without doubt, if it was him. I knew the baby was mine but I didn't really recognize it from my third person viewpoint if that makes any sense.
It was so real.
I could describe exactly what the baby looked like and what it was wearing. I could tell you every detail about the high chair and cake.
Was it Jae or her friends working their Reiki on me from miles away?
Was it Greyson trying to speak to me?
Was it baby number 2 trying to find me?
Was it simply my first daydream since losing Sweet Pea?
Was it just my stupid brain on overdrive?
I loved reading about your vision and the golden light. The images seem so lucid and I think it's a positive sign, though we'll find out soon what it symbolizes. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteI think it was all of the above....and yes Reiki healers can send light and energy and heal across the miles...they do not need to physically place their hands upon you. Soak it up sister, take it in....it just might be your ticket to the other side, where happy days exist again.
ReplyDeleteI had Reiki healing many years ago after a very low point in my life. I had resorted to drugs to self medicate and was destroying a relationship I was in. I went to a Reiki healer in attempt to make the awful feelings inside me go away. Something magical happened that day. I'm afraid if it hadnt I wouldn't be here today. So I am a believer because I personally experienced the power of it. Something physically happened to me, I couldn't even drive afterwards. I am so glad you found your healer and I am so looking forward to your future. xoxoxoxoxoxox
Keep envisioning the golden light- evidently that is something that works and makes you feel better, so go for it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the dream, I'm hoping it's baby number 2 trying to find you because Greyson told him what a wonderful Mom you are and how much love he felt from you.
I don't think it was your brain on overdrive, because as many negative thoughts as you were having yesterday, a daydream would have been more negative, right?
What a beautiful image. I'm with Melissa. I'm hoping its baby number 2 trying to find you with Greyson's help. I'm hoping too, that this vision combined with your healing gold light gives you a ray of hope.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, people can send healing energy to other people, you can be 1/2 way around the world and still give or receive.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading about and practising EFT to help me release from the horrible memories of my miscarriages, as well as other stuff that has been unresolved for many years. Someone has taught me a few basics on Matrix Reimprinting which was borne out of EFT. You can "create" a new reality using the exact image/vision you have already experienced. Get comfortable and bring the image into your mind and as you do, just tap lightly with two fingers on your 3rd eye (the space between the eyebrows). Let the image get brighter and more vivid, then send that image out into the universe. Do that once a day or as often as you feel comfortable with.
I would vote for all of the above as well. I hope you continue to feel the lightness.
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful vision and I hope it is giving you a little peek into the future. I vote for getting healing wherever you can get it. I'm sending you lots and lots of postive, beautiful thoughts. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Melissa, you are such a warm wonderful soul and baby 2.0 is trying to find you, being positive and focusing on good positive energy does work.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful moment in such a bleak time. Thank you for always sharing!
ReplyDeleteI would tell you I thought you were nuts except I met my son when I had cranial sacral therapy. Before I knew I was ART bound. He was a teenager and a little embarrassed by me, but in a good way - I could tell it was because I was loving him too hard. Curly hair, brown.
ReplyDeleteI hold on to that memory all the time. I dont know what to do with it either.
I believe you.
I have just stumbled upon your blog by sheer accident. It is a very interesting read.
ReplyDeleteI have recently qualified as a reiki master and I would say don't give up and never loose faith, you will get what you want.
Jay