Monday, February 28, 2011

First Antidepressant

I'm tired of fighting it.
The dark monster called depression.
I don't want to fight against it.
I would like to give in....
Eat until the pain is if it ever could be.
Stay in the cocoon of my bed where it's if my thoughts ever could be quieted.
Wonder all the whys for as long as I if there will ever be answers
Find stillness and not the pressure of life....but there is life.

And I can't do those things...

I have to fight it.


Don't you think my hands look like an old meat packer's hands?
I call myself "Man Hands" sometimes like from Seinfeld.


  1. No, I don't think your hands look like an old meat packer's hands! Goofy.
    Picture is good. Good blur in the background.
    I already thought you were taking the antidepresants? Did you just take the first one today?

  2. man hands? nothing about your fingers seems manly to me... quite feminine actually.

    The poemy-post and photo that coordinates is amazingly touching. The photo is striking. How did you get the color restricted just the the capsule and its aura?

  3. Your hands look fine to me -- not at all man hands.

    Glad you are taking anti-depressants. Sometimes they are much needed.

  4. I can't make a judgement on your hands because I'm so stunned by the effect you used. I'm sure they aren't manly anyway, we seem to have a way of judging ourselves so much harsher than what really is.

    How did you do that to the picture? Its amazing. What software are you using to edit photos?

    Its a pretty pill. I think it will take the edge off, which you deserve.

  5. HA- I never really noticed your hands I guess. I don't see anything here that looks like a meat packer's or man hands. I do love the texture in the background and the blur. I see you found the focal bw button. Cool.

    quite accurate description of depression. The pills will help. Just remember that full effect won't kick in for a while and its okay to talk to your doctor about changing dosages or medications until you find the most effective treatment for you.
    Love you, girl

  6. You gotta do what you gotta do, Paige!

  7. I love the picture - the color editiing is wonderful! And I don't see any meat-packing man hands there at all!

    I think an antidepressant is a great idea - with all the crazy hormone shifts you had to deal with in addition to grief, your brain chemistry is probably all out of kilter. And you can't heal when fighting against that!

  8. Nothing wrong with getting a little help during this challenging time. I hope they help you. I know they have been invaluable for me!

  9. I agree with Twin Mommy, there's nothing wrong with getting help when you need it however you need it.

    The photo is very artistic.

  10. Keep fighting Mama!! There is no shame in getting help when help is needed, and I applaud you for choosing to live!!!
    As for your hands... they're not as bad as mine!! I always say there is no aristocracy in my background.. I have peasant hands! But as I've come to realise just a while ago, these are the only body parts I'll ever have, and I love that they give me this place on the earth, so I accept me for what I am... peasant hands and all! lol!! By the way.... I LOVE the picture!

  11. Good for you for taking advantage of a tool that is around to help, a huge step, Paige. I do hope it helps, a bit.
    And no, you don't have man hands!

  12. Definitely Lady Creative Artistic Hands!

  13. I think for them to be man hands they have to be huge--and frankly my dear, yours do NOT qualify! Perhaps you may be a close talker or even a high talker--we'll have to check with the Yayas ;)
    I hope the medication will help you in the way you need/want it to.

  14. Sometimes it's amazing what those little pills can do. Sending you much hope that things start to look better soon.