My third grade teacher was there. Looking and sounding just the same as she did 30 (30!) years ago. That made me more self conscious. I'm friends with her on FB but she doesn't check in very often and I just kept thinking, did she know I wasn't pregnant anymore? Did she even remember that I was? Would she say anything? Stupid overdrive brain!
There were teenagers behind me which added to my discomfort. And a few of them were boys who were stinky. Well, then the exercise got really hard and I struggled to keep up and there was twirling and a lot of jumping and everything got really fast.
Thankfully my friend, AT, was there and because she was encouraging me I kept the tears on the inside mostly and actually made it through the hour class. I can't believe I did it. I know if AT hadn't been there I would have walked out. I'm glad I did it.
I came home to three men working in my kitchen. Dad, E and R. They stabilized the island, installed the dishwasher and put some extra screws into the cabinets. While they were doing that, I worked on cleaning out the garage of all the old flooring and cardboard from the cabinets. Later, Stretch and her weird friend stopped by. They were having an "adventure" which it seems consisted of walking across the pasture and splashing through the branch.
Now my back seems to be out of whack and my stomach is troubling me. Quiet night in store: me, wine, TV and ibuprofen.
Picture of the day:
Didn't turn out really well considering the time I put into it. Thank Gawd it was a "lazy" shot with me just sitting there playing with settings on my camera. I couldnt' get the shoes to be crisp and dark. And I wish there was a "cooler" picture on the TV. I think I was watching a Scrubs rerun.
I applaud you in your bravery for going to an exercise class!!!!!! I too am shy and self-conscious, so go brave Paige :)
ReplyDeleteLove your picture. Every time I see my sneakers/tennis shoes/kicks/whatever you want to call them, I see the grass stains on them. I reminds me that with my tax refund I need to get a new pair ;)
Enjoy your quiet night, I'm looking forward to mine.
Exercise class on a Saturday? I have to find an award to nominate you for. I can't even think about when I last intentionally exercised.
ReplyDeleteTrust me on this, every time you go to exercise class it will get easier. Your physicial self will thank your mental self for 'showing up'.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for all your lovely comments on my blog today :) Great to share this journey with you... you're an inspiration :) I've never managed to stick with exercising and hate going to classes - well done for going :)) Hope you're back improves xoxo
ReplyDeleteWell, if you were crying while you were there and didn't walk out, you're pretty tough in my book! I can't even walk in to one of those places and the very thought of intentional exercise puts me in tears.
ReplyDeleteYour picture is awesome! I can just see you sitting there looking for the settings on your camera! I love that you're really working at trying the camera thing :)
I know you don't believe it, but your picture is very good compositionally too! And...the shoes are clear and the background is blurred....just the way it should be.
I can't wait to see you in the morning! We're gonna have fun and get some unintentional exercise!
Gosh I wish I could get myself to an exercise class - and then say there for the WHOLE hour. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for sticking it out. I despise exercise classes with young people or boys in them... I just end up feeling so self-conscious. And, by the way, I've cried during exercise classes before. Moving around physical can have a way of releasing energy and grief that get the tears going. Once during a yoga class I silently stifled sobs till the rest period at the end where I let myself weep. I was convinced everyone saw, but no one noticed. I was so emotionally tied up that the yoga forced me to let go a little - and in that process I needed to cry. I think it can be healthy.
ReplyDeleteI second what Randi said! When you are physically tired, you are less able to hold up the emotional walls, imho. After my father died, I began running and I would come home after a run feeling great but then as I was streching out, I would end up sitting there crying. I think it is good for you, both phyiscally and emotionally to let it all out! Bravo to you!
ReplyDeleteBethany
I couldnt to savasana in yoga for over 2 years. But it is a quiet time now. I dont always let my mind go there.
ReplyDeleteI am catching up with you. I hope you are doing better dear P.