Monday, February 15, 2010

My Cookie Monster

We were a day late in creating these tiny Valentine treats but I think they are the cutest cookies in the world! We had such a good time today making these mini works of art. I think I should quit my job and become an upscale baker. Maybe TLC would want to film a reality show about me and my rebel transition from mild mannered school marm to wacky and wild baker. It could be called "The Baking Bitch" or "The Crazy Cookie Lady". Any other suggestions?

DollFace took this pic of me:

I didn't have any make up on but I think infertility has aged me! I don't remember looking that tired around the eyes a few months or even weeks ago! I wasn't really feeling tired.

Mental note: start saving for an eye job.

P.S. Yesterday was the first Valentines Day in years that I didn't binge like a mad woman. Interesting, no? I probably made up for it today with the "Quality Control" while decorating cookies. But I'm kind of proud of myself for not using the Hallmark holiday as an excuse to over indulge because I was feeling badly about being alone. I'm still alone and would still like to find my someone, but I'm ok on my own. Really, ok! I don't get that huge, painful, empty heart feeling anymore. I'm more secure about myself now. Also, I have something else BIG on my plate right now that could be distracting me and I'm not talking about that giant sized cookie.


  1. Hey Paige, just came across your blog (on No eggs in this Basket!) and I was so moved by your story. I especially loved your Letter to MY Body and that your Body repsonded!

    I am a donor egg IVF veteran - we are currently on our 4th try! Hopefully this is it, but DE is NOT the magic bullet they sometimes promise. Have you had your FSH levels checked? Your doc MAY be great, but at 38 you could still have some great eggs in there (or not, but a 2nd opinion is soooo vital!) I'd go ahead and set up the donor egg stuff but get a 2nd opinion too. See if they can't move your appt up or if you can get any testing done ahead of time. I don't mean to be bossy or annoying but after reading your blog I just can't believe after ONE cycle they are giving up - and 2 eggs can be enough!

    You might want to check out this blog by Mad Hatter
    She is trying with her own eggies and 38 -

    Please don't think I'm trying to talk you out of DE, obviously I'm a big fan! And if you want to go that route anyway I say go for it (to me I was so worried about birth defects and old eggs, and I just didn't care about the dna as much as a healthy baby that DE was a no brainer. But I'm now 44)

    Good luck, please take care of yourself and feel free to stop by my blog sometime!

  2. I hear you on V-day. It's just the last couple of years (since starting TTC actually) that I've calmed down about the whole man thing. It's actually been sort of a relief.