Earlier this week, my principal called a meeting to explain that the state of IL was not paying their bills and that there are certain grants that may not be granted for the next school year. As a result, all the non-tenured teachers will receive "reduction in force" papers. In other words, laid off. I knew that my position was a grant position but I'm pretty far up the seniority list so I thought that I'd be back in the classroom. Not my favorite thought but ok, I'll deal.
She pulled me aside today to talk to me about a media specialist supervisor position which will be coming available. Head of the librarians. Me? Well, she talked and talked. Saying that we could design this position into anything we wanted, that media specialist would really just be a small part of the position and that I could do reading specialist work for all four buildings for the rest of the job. She conveyed such confidence in me and seemed to think I was ready for more of a leadership position in the district. I agreed to think about it. It would mean giving up working with children. Didn't think I was ready to do that. I've really felt very fulfilled these past 2 years but maybe this is a new door to walk through. It would be uncharted territory. I'm not really sure at this point what exactly the responsibilities would be and if I could handle them or not. I don't really consider myself a leader.
She also said it was a way to "save" one of the young people's positions. How could I NOT consider it.
She acted so excited about this new opportunity for me. I can't hold back the cynic...was it an act? In the back of my mind, I have to wonder if she said all those complimentary things to get me to take the job. Was I really so poor at classroom teaching that they will put me anywhere else to keep me from going back? I know this comes down to money, I KNOW it does but I have to wonder if I suck at the job I currently have. She didn't hold out any hope at all that there would be a reading position for me next year. I realize this is my low self-esteem talking. Maybe I should explore employment elsewhere. Not that there are very many jobs out there for a reading specialist who's still working on getting her certificate.
DollFace came over for a while tonight while C and E went to dinner. We baked cookies and danced to A.BBA. :) Apparently, Stretch is too grown up to come to my house for such a short visit. I miss her sometimes. I love the beautiful, responsible young woman she's becoming but I miss the little girl.
Hmm, this is the first post in a long time (ever?) that I didn't talk about Infertility. Don't worry, it's still in the forefront of my thoughts....as always.