What does it say about me that I don't have much to write about since I'm in a holding pattern on Project Preggers? I'm boring? I lead a quiet life? I'm obsessed with getting pregnant?
I could write about my early pick for American Idol. (Paige Miles, of course with that name I'm sure she's a winner)
Or my pick for the gold in the Olympic Ladies Figure Skating (The Canadian gal)
Or the problems I've been having with mini-binges (had a legit reason to stop at Walgreen's and then bought a bunch of candy)
Or that I've be working out this week (yay, me)
Or how I've been daydreaming about walking around barefoot and feeling the sun on my face (soooo weary of cold, brown, dreary February)
Or that two of my students at school are academically growing like crazy and I couldn't be prouder. (This is why I went into teaching!)
But....what I've really been thinking about is the choice to push the IVF to May. I really don't want to wait. I really want to be pregnant as soon as possible. A part of my brain doesn't care what Dr. 2 has to say. Another part thinks I already know what he's going to say so why bother. An egg donor is the fastest way to grow my family and I want to move forward. Now, dammit! Now!
Then I remember, I will wonder for the rest of my life what that doctor might have said and how it could have changed the course of my life.
And so the days grind by and I wait....
I hope you are still moving ahead with the donor choice and so on at clinic one - you can always cancel if you get brilliant news at clinic 2 (or decide to go with them for DE). My experience was that getting a donor took WAY longer than I expected (a YEAR)! Hopefully they have a few ready to go at your clinic.
ReplyDeleteYou do seem to be in a good place to go ahead with DE, but I agree you should probably make sure before shutting that genetic door.
Best of luck hon, waiting sucks.
I'm not very good at waiting either. It's so hard even if you know it will likely be the better choice. I hope that you are able to get some good answers with your wait.
ReplyDeleteI do think you are making the right choice waiting to hear what dr. 2 has to say, and I totally agree with Battynurse about how difficult it is, all this waiting, even if you know it's for a good reason.
ReplyDeleteHope time flies by quickly!