I'm in love with a new egg donor. She has curly, red hair, freckles and has delicate features. Like a tiny Irish fairy princess.I don't know much about her. When the Donor Egg Lady emailed to tell me my first choice was taken, she also sent some pics of new donors. So new their info isn't even available yet. So I only know what I can tell from the pic. Which, of course, is not very much. I have to say I loved the Princess' looks at first sight.
My mother is fond of saying that her family is 1% Irish. Mostly we're German. Sturdy, stocky, ruddy complexions. Just what you'd imagine. And mostly we all look like each other. Would it be doing a child from this donor's genetic background a disservice to invite it into our family? Would the child stick out in an obvious and perhaps painful or embarrassing way? Would I feel like a huge galoot next to them? Isn't it enough of a challenge for him or her to be conceived in such a completely unconventional way?
Except for the red hair and blue eyes, this young lady looks nothing like me. I should probably add that my hair is "red". You can read that "really dishwater blond but has had a red dye job for years" Or "red head wannabe". My mother says that I really was a red headed baby. And also that when if comes to babies it really doesnt' matter because it's like Forest Gump's chocolate box. You never know what you're going to get even if you are genetically related. And then she tells a story about a family she knew when she was growing up. There were 5 daughters in the family and they all had different hair colors and skin tones. And then there's the sperm donor to consider.
My original second choice is lovely too. As I've said before, I know I really can't go wrong. Except....my second choices profile says that she's stubborn. She mentions it three times mostly in relation to her childhood. Is stubbornness a nurture thing or a nature thing?
I think a red haired fairy princess would be great - as long as she is proven. Of course you should do what is best for you, and every donor is unproven the first time (unless they have their own children). It doesn't matter AT ALL what they look like if you don't get good eggs from her, so keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my insurance didn't cover any donor drugs or proceedures, but my clinic did order all the drugs for ME, had them deliver there and they divided the stuff up and gave the donor stuff to her and my stuff to me! It worked great, and at least the drugs were covered (about $2K at my place). Also I didn't have to worry about being home when the drugs came to put them in the frig or whatever, I just picked everything up at my convenience. So you might want to ask your IVF coordinator if that is something they could do. But even if they can't, at least you have insurance that covers some of the process! Good luck hon.
I believe a lot in nuture. (though might I add that stubborness can be a good thing - a stubborn person will try and try again until they succeed, not giving up easily..)
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