This post is going out by request to Inbetween:
I had intended to keep my plans to start a family top secret. I knew my family would be happy and supportive about a grandchild on the way but I didn't know how they would react about the process. I didn't want their opinions to sway my thoughts about going forward. I used a known donor for a while and it's pretty high on the ick factor to bring up that Mr. X is over here banging me multiple times during a certain time of the month. Also, I never in my wildest dreams thought it would take so long to bring my dream to life. When I began to see what a struggle it would be, I wanted to spare them some of the heartbreak I was going through each month. It's hard to keep a big secret that effects every facet of your life for so long.
Eventually I got to the IUI with donor sperm stage. At one point, I had a very long wait at the doctor's office and I was supposed to pick up my niece. I had left my phone in the car so asked the nurse if I could use the office phone to call my mom and ask her to pick up my niece. My mother didn't even say hello. Just, "Why are you calling from the doctor's?" Curses! Caller ID. So I'd sort of given up my secret by mistake. I didn't tell her on the phone, but later that night when I got to Mom's she said, "Tell me you're not dying or something." My pessimistic mother. I was glad to have an opening to tell her. She was extremely surprised but responded with joy and support. It was good to have someone who was on my side to know something about the struggle. After that, she asked every chance she got for an update on how the process was going. Almost to my annoyance, but I was hungry to share it and have support.
Dad? Neither my mother or I told my dad. A few months after I told my mom, I went to an RE and he told me that my eggs were nearly non-existent, dried up and useless to me. I was so devastated and heartbroken. I knew after 24 hours of crying that I wouldn't be able to keep it from them. We are a pretty close family and see each other often. So I went over there and just blurted everything out. My mother reacted with disbelieve, sadness and a little anger. My father said he was sorry to hear that and asked why it took the first doctor so long to get me to a specialist. So I had to tell them about trying for a year with a known donor and then an anonymous donor. After that he said very little, but I know he was concerned that I was so broken hearted. Since then he NEVER brings it up but responds with support if I do.
In the words of Shrek, "Better out, than in". It has been much better going through this with the people I love knowing, and able to show support and concern for me. Since I'm going it alone, I needed someone on my side. It's much easier not having to constantly watch what I say when many times there is one thing and one thing only on my mind.
I still have vivid daydreams about telling my parents that their next grandchild is on the way.