Monday, March 28, 2011

Trampoline Time

I took the day off to get the girls off to school this morning and go to my tax appointment. Getting the girls up and ready this morning went amazingly smoothly. They both listened and did as they were told.

I dropped Dollface off at school and she wanted me to walk her in and meet her kindergarten teacher. She goes to kindergarten in my childhood school in my childhood kindergarten room. It felt odd and nostalgic to be there as an adult. I had the typical thought that everything looked so tiny.

This afternoon I packed them off to Mom and Dad's but will still be watching them afterschool until E and C come home on Thursday. We went to their house to check on the cat and dog and get in some trampoline time:

Two Sweeties


Trampoline Time

Trampoline Time 2

Beautiful 13

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Did I mention that Madame Red showed up last week? Finally, after a week of progesterone and a week of waiting. And wowza, what a gusher she is. I was relieved to see her but sheesh...didn't want such an exciting reunion. I contacted the clinic because I was a little worried. They said to go on birth control pills which will slow and stop the flow as well as prepare me for trying again.

You read right....trying again.

Mom came over tonight to look at the backsplash tile that finally got delivered today. We were just sitting in the kitchen chatting and out of the blue, she says she's ready to look at Greyson's pictures. She cried and cried. Eventually she said she was glad I was going to be able to try again and that she was fully behind me.

I know it will be hellish if I lose another child, but it would be impossible to survive knowing I couldn't try again because I was too afraid.

I heard something yesterday that reminded me that if one great, awesome thing can happen in my life then another great, awesome thing can happen. Ok...it was a TV preacher talking about how God can do anything and if you were healthy before, He can make you healthy again, etc, etc. I do not like TV preachers and do not watch them but as I was flipping channels some small phrase he said caught my ear and I stopped to hear more.

Just hearing what he said...I don't know how to explain it. Instantly something seemed to mend inside me and the attitude of my heart and mind changed. This might be a temporary upswing as I've had in the past, but it's here now and I'm doing what I can with it.

Greyson is helping me move foreward.

He's going to send me his little sister.

It's all going to be ok.

I'm going to sign up for a June cycle.

25 comments:

  1. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy, proud, excited, nervous, you name it!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxox

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  2. Oh Paige, I'm so thrilled to hear you are at the point of trying again. You have been through so much, but that question would always be with you (I know that feeling!) Glad your body is "functioning" the way it should, kind of a double edged sword. Hope all goes well in the coming months!!

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  3. Wow. I'm gushing tears right now. You're truly an amazing woman.

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  4. I am so happy for you Paige!!! This is so exciting. I will be forever rooting for you.

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  5. I'm so happy for you, Paige.

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  6. I'm behind you for sure, paige! With that news I almost forgot that I can't see your pictures for some reason.

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  7. Just beautiful. Here's to the springtime season of renewal.

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  8. Fantastic... so lovely that you feel ready to try again and that you feel Greyson helping you xoxo

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  9. Wow! Right here cheering you on.

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  10. I'm very happy that "Madame Red" showed up again. I'm also happy that you had an upswing with positive thoughts about trying again. You would forever wonder about having a child if you didn't try again, so I'm happy that you're going to sign up for a June cycle.
    I'm here for you whatever happens and whatever you decide.

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  11. Fabulous news, Paige! I am so glad. I'm also glad you had a good day with the girls. :-)

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  12. Where to start?! so many "yippees!" are going off in my head. Yippee #1 - Beautiful girls and picture Y2-smooth morning and nostalgic moments. Y3 - Reunion with "Madame". Y4- More progress on the kitchen. Y5-Beautiful moments with mom and Greyson. Y6- Awesome things that are about to happen and emotional upswings. and finally Yippees #7 through Yippee # bazillion - Trying again!!!!!
    Come what may, I'll be here. Love you bunches and bunches!

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  13. I love the picture of the girls! And I'm so happy for you and excited about June!

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  14. Oh, Paige. That is so great!

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  15. Yahoooo!! So happy for you!! I do really do believe your little boy is an angel in heaven, watching over you.

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  16. Sending you many many good thoughts for your June cycle.

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  17. Here's to keeping the upswing happening! June will be here before you know it!

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  18. Oh my gosh, I'm not sure how I missed this before... I'm so happy for you, Paige!

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  19. I'm happy you are trying again. I'm glad you got to that point.

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  20. The photo of your nieces is really wonderful. They are lovely children!
    And wow, you are trying again. I'm totally supporting you. I wish you all the best.

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  21. I'm am so behind on my blog reading. So glad to read this post, Paige. You go, girl!

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