Blackberry Winter

One week from now my embies could be tucked in at the doctor's office to grow for a couple days. One week! And in a week and a half I could be pregnant. ME! Pregnant! It could happen...it could really happen. My dream could be true in less than two weeks! Just when I thought I'd had every emotion possible related to struggling with fertility...wham. This is certainly a special kind of excitement laced with a little anxiety. I actually get butterflies when I think about it.

My daydreams have even moved on. I daydream about seeing Dr. H. again which to me will signify really being safely pregnant. I keep planning my own baby shower in my head. This makes me feel crazy and I wish I could STOP.

I'm working very hard to keep the "what if it doesn't happen" thoughts AWAY! I keep thinking that if I just do exactly what the doctor has instructed me to do, I will get pregnant, but I know there are no guarantees. Everyday my prayers are with my lovely donor, my talented doctor and his staff.

Jock Indetank has been ordered and delivered. One less thing to worry about.

I FINALLY have Internet at my home. Yay!

It's almost cold here in the mid-west. Dad asked if I had my long johns out and called it Blackberry Winter. E has headed out to plant corn. He gave me a ride back home as he headed out on the corn planter. I was struck by the mammoth size of the equipment these days. When I think back to the 4 row corn planter of my childhood, our current 16 row planter seems unbelievably huge and makes my memory of the old planter seem toylike. They can't even haul it on the road without folding it completely in half. E said he remembered being totally intimidated by this new 16 row planter at first but now looks to buying a 24 row one in the future. Something that wouldn't even have been a thought in our heads 20 years ago.....

And we wouldn't have even dreamed of being able to become pregnant at 38 while single using donor eggs and sperm. I may be a simple country girl but I'm so very grateful to have been born in a time when science can make miracles happen.