I woke early this morning feeling out of sorts and blah. By 9am I couldn't seem to keep my eyes open so I went back to bed. I woke up two hours later feeling more like myself than I have in weeks. Hello, Self...It's been awhile. How are you?
Right now I feel calm and sure of what has happened and my decisions. And I feel a good strong dose of hope. There is still a bit of melancholy hanging around but it feels kind of good...like it's actually my own genuine emotion and not a drug induced crazy feeling.
For the first time in over two months, I have no drugs in my system. It is bittersweet relief for sure. Now I'm in for a different kind of two week wait. Waiting to get my period so I can start all over.
Sigh....................
Nice being your own self again.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to yourself.
ReplyDeleteSuch a waiting game. I hope your 2WW goes by quickly this time and the next.
Glad you're feeling more like yourself although you likely still have some of the stuff in your system and so may still have some flare ups of the crazies. Hope not but don't feel bad if you do. Hope the period shows up soon and that soon you're on your way again.
ReplyDeleteBreathe, roll your eyes and laugh. Yes, laugh. Because this insane ride on the infertility train takes some wild turns. Sometimes laughing at the craziness is actually the sanest thing to do. You'll cycle again and soon and with a promising donor.
ReplyDeleteIts all so ridiculous, isn't it? These drugs, the invasiveness of it all, the holding our breath for weeks at a time? Sometimes all you can do is let yourself down a glass (bottle?) of wine and laugh. Or cry.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're still 'in there' somewhere!
Calm and hopeful - the best place to be!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you're feeling good again!
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