This not having Internet is effing ridiculous. I'm about to go nuts. I was here at Dad's office last night trying to blog and in walks Mom, she plops down with, "Whacha doin?" She. Would. Not. Leave. There is only so much small talk you can make while nervously wanting someone to go. Mom knows a lot about my journey but I just could NOT write about sperm donors and my period (which finally showed up yesterday) in front of my MOTHER and I couldn't say, "Hey, get out", so finally I just stuck in a few pics and left it at that. And now she knows the title of my blog...don't know if she'll check in or not and not sure how I feel about that. I like having this be my safe place and knowing I can say anything to you all.
Last night I realized that I must make a final pick on a sperm donor THIS WEEKEND. There is no way I can do that without Internet. I came over here to the office this morning, thinking that if everyone was busy, I could get some thinking and choosing done. Ummmm NO. Whoever said it was quiet in the country was WRONG. The office is attached to the machine shop and warehouse. There were huge tractors in and out, the milk tanker truck making it's pick up, Dad's employees and my brother all over the place. One was actually working on the office door with a drill or something. It was impossibly LOUD and made me jumpy so I just left. E asked me to bring over my laptop this afternoon and it seems to be a quiet time now. Still nerve wracking because non-family members could walk in at any moment, but I have to make a choice. This is so NOT how I imagined doing this.
The IM Delestrogen shot went well. I'm wondering what I was so scared about. I took a deep breath and just did it. It didn't really even hurt.
Hello May! I've been waiting and waiting for you. Please be good to me.