A discontented, crabby day. What the heck is wrong with me? It is as though those things that usually make people happy have the opposite effect on me. Here I have a few days off and today seemed so long, I would start something and then become disinterested. C had invited me to their campground to hang out at the lake but I didn't go. The house is a pit but I didn't do any cleaning other than dishes. I am so fed up with my eating program, I want to quit. I've been forcing myself to eat things I don't really care for because they are good for me. I would tell myself it's like medicine and I'd down the vegetables. It was fine while I was at work, but here, with nothing to distract me? Yuck! I only gagged down a few bites of lunch and was having mad, mad cravings and was so hungry and literally unable to distract myself. I finally downed a spoonful of peanut butter but that didn't stop me. Only a kitkat did that. Why do I make it so drastic? I always do this and I always fail. grrrrrrrrrrrr I feel mentally ill and not myself.
I don't understand what happened? Yesterday I was so relaxed and feeling good about becoming healthier. Today I'm on Crazy Train. I'm making a list of things to do tomorrow. And I have to figure out what to do about my meals. I can't just keep eating stuff I don't like.