Sunday, August 8, 2010

In His Hands

I have had the worst day of crazy worried thoughts ever. Nothing would stop the pinwheel. I've been close to tears several times. It just seems like I should be feeling something by now. Anything.

I did stumble upon a TV preacher while I was channel surfing. He was talking about God's plan and how if He has a destination for me. He already knows the path and WILL get me there. Those thoughts did help for a short time. We're in God's hands...I really do believe this. I just wish He would throw down an implantation cramp or something.

I went shopping for school supplies this afternoon and getting out of the house helped. I stopped by Mom's on the way home and talked to her a little about it. She has no idea of my lunacy of course but she said that she didn't feel anything much the whole first trimester. Of course she was a young, busy farmwife at the time. It helped to talk to her but I still feel frazzled and worried that they didn't stay.

I'm going to school tomorrow to work in my classroom. I'm really looking forward to getting part of my mind on something else even though I'm terrified to work and be active in the heat.

7 days until I know if my embies stayed.

Please, God, please, please, please, please.


  1. The completely crazy thoughts are normal - really they are! But don't worry about your lack of symptoms. Even if you had any right now, they'd probably not have anything to do with your pregnancy. It's way too early to be able to tell anything at all.

    Take a deep breath. Now take another 10 or more deep breaths. Find something to relax you tomorrow. And don't worry about the heat. Your little beans are going to be just fine!

  2. It's such a nerve-wracking time and feeling crazy-emotional is part of the deal... it really is! Do your best to occupy yourself and don't overanalyze. In your current case, it's only been a few days... only a lucky few actually feel or get implantation bleeding... the large majority feel nothing... as much as you pay attention and wish upon feeling something. It's the first true test of patience of motherhood!

  3. Just to reiterate what others have said, really, don't expect to feel implantation or anything much for that matter. So don't worry. Think of it as the time when those little embies are trying to make up their mind whether or not to stay, so keep thinking happy maternal thoughts for them and try to stay calm. I know it is a really stressful time, but see if you can get yourself to succumb to the waiting. Patience... it's so hard to find but so essential to getting through the tww, and then everything that comes after that...

  4. The waiting is seriously the hardest part of this all. Hang in there. Hugs to you.