I think it's sinking in. I'm pregnant. It's only sinking in a little though. Inside my head it still looks like this: OMG! I'M PREGNANT!!
This morning on the way to work I burst into tears of joy for a few minutes thinking about the miracle of the life growing within me. Miracle? life within me? Hello? Was that me thinking that and crying over it. I've never pictured myself as the syrupy, emotional, mothery pregnant type but here I am. Temporarily, I think, but none the less, I'm completely in awe of what has happened to me.
My body is holding, protecting and nurturing life. MY body, MY baby. My baby has finally found me!
Yes, I just choked up as I wrote that.
What a happy change of pace....tears of JOY!
Feel free to laugh because now I'm laughing at myself and you'll be laughing with me.
I thought by now I would be past the extreme worry and I'm glad to say it has lessened a bit. The clinic is always so frustratingly vague. I asked if I could go off restricted activity, a little anyway. I was told in a serious voice that no I couldn't, it is still very early. I asked if she thought it was a "twinish" number (I don't think it is but I had to ask). She couldn't say for sure, she's seen high numbers end in singletons and low ones end in twins. And then they always dangle that next golden pregnancy prize out in front of you. We'll see what the ultrasound shows. I again fill in the blank "If they stay until the _________(1st beta, HPT, 2nd beta etc) then we'll be safe." And again I'm on the merry-go-round hoping they stay and are healthy, worried they won't.
I love you so much, Embies! You amazing little things. Please stay so I can give you your prenatal name.
Ultrasound next Thursday!