I began taking water exercise classes a few years ago when I had trouble with my knees. Being in the water was better than any drug for my knee pain. I loved going because I knew I would be pain free for the rest of the day. I also liked that it was a reason to get up and get moving early in the morning during vacations.
But this time, I don't know. I just felt...like here I am again, still fat, still bumbling around in the water with the oldsters. Don't get me wrong, I really admire the seniors who are able to get moving like that at their age. I used to be inspired by them. They seem so sprightly and have such good attitudes. I'm the youngest person in the class by about 30 years and the tallest by at least 6 inches. It used to make me feel good, like the hot, young babe of the class. But I wasn't feeling youthful or hot today. I just felt....old.
Then I came home an pottered around, or is it puttered around the house. The big event was getting emissions testing for the car.
The doubts crowd in. Am I too old to become a parent? Will I be able to keep up with a youngster? My parents are getting older, will they be able to help me as much as I've been counting on? Before infertility I never felt "old" or thought about being too "old".
Please wait while I tamp down the doubt and talk myself out of these stupid thoughts.....
I believe with all my heart that this is the perfect time for me to be starting my family. If I am truly meant to be a parent as I believe I am, then I WILL become a parent. I am NOT old but am young of heart, spirit, mind and body. Having a youngster around will KEEP me young and vital.