First of all, let's not even discuss getting into the swimsuit for the first time this season. I would have liked to cover up more, wear a t-shirt or something. I was wondering if I would feel completely out of place if I showed up in something like these stylish young people are sporting:
I began taking water exercise classes a few years ago when I had trouble with my knees. Being in the water was better than any drug for my knee pain. I loved going because I knew I would be pain free for the rest of the day. I also liked that it was a reason to get up and get moving early in the morning during vacations.
But this time, I don't know. I just felt...like here I am again, still fat, still bumbling around in the water with the oldsters. Don't get me wrong, I really admire the seniors who are able to get moving like that at their age. I used to be inspired by them. They seem so sprightly and have such good attitudes. I'm the youngest person in the class by about 30 years and the tallest by at least 6 inches. It used to make me feel good, like the hot, young babe of the class. But I wasn't feeling youthful or hot today. I just felt....old.
Then I came home an pottered around, or is it puttered around the house. The big event was getting emissions testing for the car.
The doubts crowd in. Am I too old to become a parent? Will I be able to keep up with a youngster? My parents are getting older, will they be able to help me as much as I've been counting on? Before infertility I never felt "old" or thought about being too "old".
Please wait while I tamp down the doubt and talk myself out of these stupid thoughts.....
I believe with all my heart that this is the perfect time for me to be starting my family. If I am truly meant to be a parent as I believe I am, then I WILL become a parent. I am NOT old but am young of heart, spirit, mind and body. Having a youngster around will KEEP me young and vital.
There that's better, now, off to find an early bird special for supper. Hehehe
My mom had me when she was 36 and I don't feel like I missed out on anything because she was older than my friend's moms. She is still plenty youthful and I couldn't ask for a better mother.
ReplyDeleteYou will be amazing. I know it's cliche but age is just a number. Also, think of all the grandparents that raise their grandbabies... they're in their 50s, 60s+ and do an amazing job.
I've done the water aerobics thing before and thought it was kind of fun but all the trouble of getting suited up and then showered etc afterwards usually ends up being too much trouble after a while. It is good exercise though.
ReplyDeleteYou will be a good mom. There are a lot of mom's doing it older now and it's great. They are a lot more together than many of those who do it much younger.
Well, I was an older mom when I had D (at 36!) and look what I'm considering now!!! Ack! I DO worry about being too old, and I think physically I really owe it to D and any unborn child I may or may not have to get in better shape. Shazam! Oh, wait, that didn't work. I guess I'll have to eat right and exercise (@*$^%!)
ReplyDeleteFunny. I got my emissions test yesterday too! Of course it is not that big of a deal for me since we have 21 (yes you read that right) cars. *sigh* The testers know me well.
I love water aerobics too, but I know that feeling - in the Olden Days I was the young hot and somewhat overweight babe - now I just feel like a big old whale. But I love how I feel after swimming - the gym just got to be too big of a hassle and now I tread at home most days.
Good luck - I'm sure day 2 will be easier!
PS - LOVE the new look for your blog!
First - love your new blog look!!! It's so bright and airy!
ReplyDeleteGood on you for going to water aerobics....you will be back in the spirit before you know it!!And those older women that go, so darn cute!!!
You are going to be a fantastic mother who's baby was wanted and planned and eagerly anticipated!!! You are taking all the right steps to gear up towards motherhood, so don't doubt for a minute you will be amazing! I know the doubt slips in from time to time, so nice fast recovery missy!!!
P.S. Don't remember if I commented on the new hair - but just in case i didn't, I love it! Little Miss Sassy pants!