Friday, January 21, 2011


I've got a couple heavy blog entries cooking in my brain but don't have the stamina to get into them tonight. Just a few house blogkeeping items:

Fourteen inches of snow and a Snow Day yesterday but back to school today. It was one degree when I left the house this morning. We were one of the few schools in attendance around here. I had eight students show up. Quite a few Snow Days for us so far which works out for me since I'm still having a tough time handling school sometimes, especially after several days in a row. In the past I would have said that things always happen the way they should, i.e. if you need relief, you get it. Now, I know it's just the scientific interaction of temperature, water and air pressure.

I was going to show the kids a movie on the smartboard this afternoon and something weird happened. When I put in the movie disc and clicked play....our ultrasound video started playing. Without a disc or anything. Somehow the file had saved on the computer, I guess. Jae helped me figure out how to delete it after school.

Oh my boy...he was so beautiful.

You may have noticed my anger post was reposted. I accidentally wrote my last name with Greyson's first name in that post. I don't mind if you, my blog friends, know my last name but don't want any baddies knowing it or if someone I know were to for some reason search my name or his and come up with the blog and all the raw, ugly personal stuff on here. I tried just deleting the last name from the post but that didn't work so I thought I'd try deleting the whole post and reposting it without the name. Now, the blog doesn't pop up if you search me but it does if you search him. I can't imagine who would be searching him but you never know. I don't really want to shut down this blog and start over somewhere else. Any ideas?

Inbetween: Thanks for the advice on the prof. It's a public university. I'm thinking about writing that letter. Thank you for caring enough to post that comment.

Nell: Thanks for the email. I'll take care of that item.

I've decided to stop worrying if the stuff I do or think is crazy. Maybe it is. SO WHAT???

I think I'll soon have to throw myself into something. No, not a lake or a ravine. Something to immerse myself in totally to help me move forward and keep my mind occupied. The only thing I can think of is weight loss.

I'm DIZZY! Not ditzy...dizzy. Ever since losing Greyson I've had dizzy spells. It was fun at first but in the past few days, they've gotten quite severe. I don't have high or low blood pressure or ear problems. I had thought it might be hormonal but Dr. H took my blood Monday and all the levels were normal. The nurse said to give it a couple weeks and come back if it didn't go away. Anybody else have experience with dizziness after giving birth?'s been almost 7 weeks. Shouldn't I be getting a period soon????? Or are all my eggs entirely gone now and I'm in menopause at 39????


  1. You might not get a period yet. It takes a while sometimes.
    I'm worried about your dizzy spells. Are you sure it's not your blood sugar levels or anything? Maybe having a spell with anemia or something? I don't know, but I hope you go in to your regular doctor and tell them to check it out.
    That's odd about the video popping up on the screen today. It could be a sign from Greyson letting you know he's thinking about you ?
    Of course, I'd love it if you threw yourself into photography with me and MC...that would be awesome. Or, I can try to teach you what I know about crocheting.

  2. I totally understand the need for a 'project.' I threw myself into weight watchers and lost 40 lbs a while back.
    I got a period about 6-7 weeks after my 2nd trimester loss, but if I remember right, it wasn't my 'normal' kind of period. It took a few months for my cycle to go back to my normal.
    I had to switch to wordpress to use the 'password protected' feature after a coworker started blabbing stuff on my blog.

  3. Smart thinking about the name thing. Sorry, no suggestions of how to fix it when you search his name. That would be a total bummer if you had to relocate the blog.
    Stress might be causing the dizziness and lack of a period. The dizzy spells can be caused by so many things from dehydration and how you're regulating you breathing to blood sugars and anxiety. I hope it gets better soon. If not, might want to get that checked.
    How did you do when you saw Greyson's ultrasound? On a bad day that that could have sent you into a tailspin. on a good day, it could have been a sad,but peaceful moment. What was the kids reaction and we you okay with that?
    I agree with Melissa, doing photography with us would be awesome. We can do a textiles club, too! She can teach you the crocheting, I can teach you to weave and knit. Have you ever wanted to learn an instrument or take some other kind of lessons?

  4. I need to do a weight loss project also. I hope you get the dizziness situation figured out and corrected soon.

  5. Dear Paige,
    I don't know anything about blogs - but I do know about dizziness - a bit. There can be so many many causes - from allergies to virus - A few years ago I was dizzy for about 5 months until I saw a chiropractor - and with one click I was nearly perfect again. Please take it easy and continue to try and find out what might be causing it.
    good luck

  6. Paige - There's no way active way to get rid of something that's been published if its been searched for.. at least not right away. What this means is that if you publish something, search engines (like google, etc.) automatically cache it. They automatically store the data from the publishing for search purposes. The things you see on search engines are not always current.

    So, if people searched for his full name they would get to see the page, but if they clicked it they should get an error message. BUT - in a month, maybe less - not sure, if will disappear from the search engine. Nothing you do can actually delete the cached entry.

    I know this isn't exactly what you'd like to hear, but at least it will soon be unsearchable again.

    I hope you get that dizziness thing sorted out - that stinks. Maybe its stress related? I know that when I'm under severe emotional stress I sometimes get weak and dizzy. It's only happened to me a couple times, but maybe thats it?

  7. I don't know if pregnancy affects this, but I have dizzy spells, some really bad. I saw a couple of cardiologists before one tested my magnesiun level. For some reason my level is naturally low (within normal, but way at the bottom -- he said if I was in the hospital with a cardiac problem they'd supplement at that level), which causes my heart to beat erradictly at random times. Ever since then I take 250-500mg of magnesium every day. And so long as I take it I don't have the dizzy spells. But if I miss a day... ooh la la. might be worth asking about.

    Thanks for your post. I completely and totally understand that you aren't following, and if I were in your shoes I definitely wouldn't either. No freaking way. But I am here to give you love and support and won't go away -- hope that's ok!

    I hope you do write the graduate dean... If I knew more about it all, I'd do it for you. If universities lose sympathy and empathy for our students then we become something much less than an educational institution. You deserve much better than that!

    love, inB

  8. I concur with the Anon suggestion about seeing a Chiropractor. I had terrible dizzy spells a few years ago to the point that I was staggering when I walked. My chiro did maybe two adjustments to my back (no neck cracking as I am not allowed to have that done) and the dizzy spells were gone.

    The other thing I would suggest is getting your blood pressure checked as it could be stress related and high BP can make you feel dizzy.

  9. "I've decided to stop worrying if the stuff I do or think is crazy. Maybe it is. SO WHAT???"

    I love this, Paige. I really love it.

    And like another posted mentioned, I think maybe Greyson was trying to say hello when your ultrasound started playing. There are many ways he could communicate with you that you'd be able to recognize, but that certainly sounds like one!