Monday, January 24, 2011


I've seen a commercial for my fertility clinic twice today.
They are having free seminars and giving away an IVF cycle.
This place is a complete sell out.
I know first hand that their cycles fill up fast.
Why would they need to advertise and give away prizes?
I guess it's all about making money.

I sort of panic when I think about how even as I type this the cycles are filling up fast.
I have to hurry and get myself together so I can sign up to try again during the month I want, instead of the month they say they have room for me.

As my mother reminded me when I talked to her about being sure I (and she) was ready to handle it all again including the possiblity of another loss before contacting the doctor,
"I hate to remind you of this, but you ARE getting older."

Thanks, Mom.


  1. Gotta love Mom! LOL

    But don't let commercials (or age!) rush you into anything. There will probably never be a time when you're completely ready, but you'll know when it's time.

    I bet Greyson would love a sibling to watch over.

  2. I wanted to let you know that I watched Ellen on DVR today and she had a guy on during a segment on photographs who mentioned he has a son named Greyson and Ellen commented that she loved that name. Ellen has also signed a young singer named Greyson to her record label. I'm telling you this because I rarely heard the name before but hear it more now and think of you and your sweet son every time I do.

  3. Ugh, I know the clinic you are talking about (well at least the St.Louis clinic). I had a consult with one of the doctors and was not very impressed, it felt very salespitchy to me and not so much medical. I was a little surprised at their commercials too. And I'm surprised that they fill up fast, their prices are a lot higher than other clinics at least for IUI's. Anyway, try not to feel rushed, I know it's hard, but it's really, really hard to be pregnant again after losing a baby. I have found that I completely underestimated how difficult it all would be.

  4. It's a sucky feeling to feel like your clinic is money grubbing. I know I ended up feeling that way with my clinic last year and it so left me feeling alone in all this.
    I would agree to try not to feel rushed. I think you'll know when you're ready to try again.

  5. I can only echo the others and say that you will know when you are ready. As for the age thing, I'm right there with you (or just past you) and have to believe that health will matter more than age. There are women on one of my donor gamete messageboards who are in their late 40's and one who is 50 and pregnant. I don't want to wait that long. Thinking of you constantly

  6. Are there any other IVF clinics you could try? Ignore your Mom's comment-Many women have children in their 40s now- My Mom thought I was way too old to be having a kid when I was 29! Of course, she got married when she was 17!!! It's a generational thing, not a fact.

  7. Lol, that biological clock is ticking so loud your mom can hear it?!?
    If your clinic isn't a good fit for you, is there another option? If not, I guess you have to take the attitude that they are a means to an end, and remind yourself that they do what you pay them to do, namely, get you pregnant.
    I have strong faith that you're not ready to give up, and that when you're ready to try again, albeit with trepidation and hesitation, you'll try again. I'm confidently awaiting that post.

  8. Well, she's tactful. I got that from family. But I just think thats what family is for!
    It's great that you are considering another try. I'll be here in the cheering section.

  9. Paige, apologies if you've covered this, but have you seen a high-risk OB since your sad event? I had an amniotic sac rupture @ 16 weeks on Thanksgiving. We went to see my fertility doc kind and she kind of insisted that I see the perinatologist for a consult before getting knocked up again. I wasn't expecting much from the consultation--expected the company line of "sometimes these things just happen"--but it was IMMENSELY helpful. This guy suspects that I must have had incompetent cervix that led to the rupture.... After much discussion and a very quick totally "touch" exam of my cervix (didn't look at it, just felt it), he said that if there is a next time, he would do a cerclage as a matter of course at 12 weeks. (It's a very aggressive approach, vs. measuring measuring measuring the cervix and waiting to see what happens...but he thinks even with constant measuring you can sometimes miss changes.) He said that with this preemptive procedure, 95% of women will make it to the finish line.

    But what I found MOST helpful was his unabashed condoning of my getting pregnant again (twice even! and I'm 41!). He gave me every confidence that if went to him, my hand would be held every step of the way. I know that it's easy for him to be rah rah when he's not the one living through it, but it really made an impression on me that he could be so so so upbeat. He was amazing. I'm sure some of the glow of optimism will fade and I'm pretty far away from stepping up to the plate, but it turns out it was what I needed....

    Bottom line, I'd take the time to see a high-risk guy or gal, now. My guy--in San Fran--just happens to be an expert on cerclage and cervical issues; hopefully you can find someone in your neck of the woods.

  10. What great feedback Transplant! I don't have much to add to the comments except that I'm appalled that the clinic dictates your schedule rather than your cycle dictating their schedule! My clinic is pretty darn busy but my TTC schedule has always been around my cycles, not their busy schedule.

  11. We have local clinics that run free IVF seminar giveaways too....seems no mater how busy they are they always want more business.

    I am glad your thinking about signing up again, but don't let the dear mother comments freak you out, a month or two or three surely won't make a world of a difference. You'll know when your ready. Xoxoxoxox

  12. Other have alread said what I was thinking. So I'll just say the if (when?) you decide to do try again, let us know so we can be there for you every step of the way. Love ya!

  13. My clinic is wicked busy too, but they give away free IVF cycles as prizes at seminars specifically because of the people who can't afford it. The woman who is in charge of stuff like that at my clinic is also part of my support group and she is fantastic. Soo..... not all of them are sell-outs I guess?

    I hope you get the cycle you want :)

  14. I got pregnant at 41, completely naturally.

    Really, the issue with age and fertility for a woman is her aging eggs. Egg viability gradually declines after 35, and then there's a sharper decline after 40.

    But since you have donor eggs, I don't necessarily think that your age is especially relevent. Which is why a 60 year old woman can be pregnant and give birth.

    Agreeing with everyone else to take your time. You will know when you are ready, my dear.

  15. Fuck that age business. The gal who runs my donor agency got pregnant herself from DE.

    At 50. Almost 51.

    Print that out and mail it to yourself.