The Day After

Procedure went very smoothly and I was impressed with how efficient and skilled everyone was especially after all the trouble I had with doing the preop information on the phone. I woke up from the surgery crying. Not from physical pain. I was aware of crying before I was aware of being awake or where I was. My sadness must run very deep to surface at a time like that.

I do think I stuck my dorky foot in my mouth a few times with Dr. H. And I have to go to his office on Wed. for the follow up and to see if he's gotten any info from Dr. AA. If it weren't for getting that info I probably wouldn't bother with the follow up. I remember I went for the follow up years ago when I had this same procedure and he popped in for 2 minutes and said everything was fine and the pathology was clear. Really no need for an office visit to tell me that.

Dr. H. said that he hasn't gotten a call back from Dr. AA though. I'm disappointed by this. Does Dr. AA think I'm trying to weasel some info out of him? I'm just trying to get some info earlier. I told Dr. H. that I had Dr. AA's email and that he usually answered very quickly. He said to call the office and leave the email address. I keep wondering what both these drs true impression of me is. I'm always saying strange things and making weird jokes or crying when I'm around Dr. H. Mom said that my heart rate and blood pressure went up when Dr. H. came in the room. Of course....he's hot and I have a giant, though harmless, crush on him. Dr. AA probably doesn't even really remember me at this point. But he knows Dr. H. is trying to get info for me and that I chose to have Dr. H. do the surgery rather than him. Soon he will know that I'm getting a second opinion. I don't know why this matters so much to me. It shouldn't matter. They are health care professionals who I pay to care for me. Why do these thoughts keep running around my brain?

I'm going to the Japanese restaurant Shogun and then the comedy club to celebrate a friend's birthday tonight. I'm looking forward to it and cannot wait to have a few laughs and get my mind off my reproductive problems for a few hours.