Saturday, December 18, 2010

Greyson P.

I got a letter in the mail last week stating that a donation to Shriner's Hospital had been made in my son's name.
I love looking at my son's name in print:

Inside a locket from the Yas:

His angel on the hospital wall:

When I write it on a foggy window:

And I love reading it when you mention him in your comments to me on this blog.

I thought everyday while I was pregnant about what to name my child but I hadn't really cut down the list at all. After I compiled all my favorite names and my friends voted for fun, I'd let the decision just lay there and simmer. Cutting the list in half when I found out he was a boy was about as much as I'd thought about it. I'd foolishly thought I still had plenty of time to make such an important decision.

He was still (and always will be) Sweet Pea to me.

Greyson was on my list of favorite names and I liked it but if he had lived that probably wouldn't have been his name. There were other names I liked better. In the hospital, wondering how I'd survive and thinking a million other heartbroken thoughts, I knew I could not send him away with only Baby Boy as a name. I considered naming him after my dad and/or my brother but it didn't seem right to put those names in the ground with such sorrow. To be honest, Greyson was the only name from my list that came to me during that time in the hospital. I just couldn't remember any others. The name Greyson had won the vote for the boy names on FB and at school. I didn't recall that until I'd been home for a while but that is probably why it came to mind when I had to choose the name my son would carry into his grave.

I couldn't think of a middle name so I gave him the middle initial P. Because we called him Sweet Pea and because P. is my initial too.

Now I love his name and it seems right for him.


  1. Greyson P is a wonderful name. I like it because it is regal and yet intimate. It's a name that sounds nice to say, I think because the 'P'. His initial reminds me of all the times you wrote about your 'sweet pea' and all times I got such a deep sense of love from your posts about your baby boy.

    But what should I expect from such a wonderful women. You are honest to us about your feelings, you are so generous with your thoughts even in the midst of all this horrific grief.

    Sending you much love

  2. I adored Greyson's name from the moment you wrote it. I think it is perfectly fitting for your boy, and I totally understand how if he was to arrive any other way, he would of had a different name.

    I love all of the ways you get to see his name, what special gifts and tributes for him. xoxoxoxox

  3. I think of you and Greyson nearly every day - holding you in my heart.

  4. I just found your blog and my heart is breaking for you. I'm not going to say all the things people say in times like these. Just that I'm very sorry and Greyson is a beautiful name.

  5. Greyson P is a wonderful name! I remember when I lost our little one and the only name that came to mind was Evan. I would have never considered Evan as a name for a child, but it came to me and I thought, that must be his name. Thoughts and prayers are with you!

  6. Greyson P is a beautiful name. You and Greyson are in my thoughts daily.

  7. I am also thinking of you and your sweet Greyson P. every day. The locket from the Yayas is so lovely.