Friday, December 24, 2010

Melancholy Eve

Earlier at Mom's, she lamented that she couldn't believe it's Christmas and no one has baked any cookies. Her father used to bake for weeks before Christmas. 30 or more different kinds. Again I'm wanting to act ok and fool everyone (including myself?) so I went home and launched into making magic bars, Oreo truffles and various chocolate covered treats. I had promised Dollface yesterday that she could come over and bake sugar cookies. They didn't really turn out and we didn't have time to decorate them. She had fun, I guess.

Now I'm unbelievably melancholy.
Lonely but couldn't bear to be around anyone.

It's UNTHINKABLE to celebrate the birth of His son while mine is in a grave.

Wondering what the hell He's doing with my life and if he's even out there.
And what the hell is there to celebrate.


  1. Over here thinking about you. ♥ Ya ya Melissa

  2. I know this is going to be a tough time.... all I can do is wish you peace. You are never far from my thoughts. Wish I could do more but am sending you love from afar!

  3. Paige, sweetie, I can only echo BB. You are never far from my thoughts and I wish I could do so much more.

  4. Same here, thinking of you often and wishing I could do something or say something ...
    If you ever need to talk, scream, shout or cry to a complete stranger but a loyal reader please contact me.

  5. I agree with them all...I wish I could give you something to find comfort in. Hugs, only do it for so long. I'm sorry Paige..truly I am. My heart breaks for you. But you are a VERY strong woman...stronger then I could ever imagine. I admire you..

    hugs...from afar!!
    Mrs. Sunnyside Up

  6. Thinking of you my friend. I know the Holiday is adding insult to injury. I am really sorry.

  7. Thinking of you lots. Hugs to you.

  8. I'm so sorry Paige--I was thinking of how hard it would be to hear all of the birth / nativity stories after such a terrible loss. Sending you love.