Monday, December 6, 2010

When does inconsolable turn into consolable?

26 comments:

  1. Oh honey, It will happen. You will never forget it, but you will be able to go on. So Sorry.

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  2. I can't imagine the pain you are going through, but given how hard the grief was when I miscarried at 7 weeks, I know falling in love with your baby for that much longer must make it orders of magnitude worse. All I can say is that it never goes away but you find strength to go on and at some point looking forward becomes possible again. You have a large community here online that loves and supports you. I hope that our love can bring you a tiny bit of peace in the midst of a horrible nightmare. love, inB

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  3. I wish it were easier. You are a strong woman, you will get through this. Praying for you.

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  4. I am sending you all the strength in my body! I am praying that the pain becomes tolerable some how. I hope you are surrounding by love and support.

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  5. I wish I knew the answer to your question, Paige. That only thing I know is that I wish with all my being that you find your way to healing.

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  6. I've never been where you are so please know that I don't for one second think I know what you're feeling aside from raw pain. Having said that, I'm an only child who has lost both parents, a best friend, all grandparents and I miscarried a couple of years ago. I promise you time helps. I absolutely promise that it does. Mourn your loss sweetie and go at it at your own pace. It's so personal and it varies per person. You will be in my prayers tonight and again first thing in the morning. Many hugs...

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  7. Grief is a horrible thing, but it does get better. Lean on all the support you have around you, and, when you're ready, reach out to others who have been through the same horrible experience you have, and you'll find your way.

    I just wish there were something we could do to make it easier.

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  8. Paige, honey, I have no words of wisdom. I can only say after having experienced some really painful losses that you have to allow yourself to feel the grief. You can't rush through grief. It will get better and then worse again and then better. Someday though it won't be as soul-crushing. I am praying for you and thinking of you constantly.

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  9. paige, you will go on. its so hard to think that you will one day smile or laugh or ever feel happy again. but i have been where you are right now. i lost my son at 31 weeks, and giving birth and the funeral, i never ever thought i could see the end. the truth is it never ends, you just learn to live with the pain. im so so sorry that you have to find yourself an angel mommy. know one should ever have to be. <3 all my love xxx

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  10. Paige, I wish I had an answer for you. I wish I could do something to help. If I may ask, what did you name your son? I'd like to light a candle in church for the both of you.

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  11. My thoughts are with you.
    My heart aches for you.
    My eyes cry with yours.
    I wish I could do more.
    I wish I could take away the pain.
    I wish I could make things different.
    If you feel the need to talk on the phone with someone, I'm here. verymadhatter@live.com
    Love,
    Maddy

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  12. It does get better. The first few days, its just horrible and you don't know how you get through it, but after a while, things starts to change.

    The firsts step of any loss is your mind becoming familiar with the idea that something utterly horrible has happened, and this takes a while. Your mind has not accepted this loss yet, and that really takes a while.

    I hope you are close to the people you love, to take you through this process.

    (((((((hugs)))))))))

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  13. Paige, you will get better with time. I am crying with you.. Please know that you have our support and we will be here for you always. I wish I can do something to help you..

    Can you tell us where we can send flowers and cards?

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  14. When you're ready to be consoled, you will be able to accept the outpouring of love and support. Please remember that being consoled and letting others help you and take care of you in no way diminishes your intense love for your son. The anger will come, but it will exhaust you quickly, and those you love will pick you up when you can't stand because it hurts too much.

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  15. Hang in there, Paige. I know it doesn't seem like it, but the immediate pain will pass. We're here for you. Take care of yourself and let yourself grieve. <3

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  16. It is impossible to know when it will happen, but it will and you will know it. For now, sleep when you need to, eat (or don't) when you need to, cry and scream and hug yourself when you need to, tune out the world when you need to. Just get by as you grieve this impossibly tragic loss.

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  17. Words can not exprese how sorry I am for your loss. Like many I have no words of wisdom to offer. Just know that you are loved here in cyberspace and that we are thinking of you during this very difficult time.....

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  18. I am so sorry for your loss, paige.

    I also lost my son at 21 weeks after PPROM, nearly 5 years ago. I won't say how time heals, because right now it's just hard and that will mean nothing to you. but it will get easier, eventually.

    for now, I am wishing you strength and peace to get through this.

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  19. That is different for each of us. Praying that it comes soon for you.

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  20. I just came by by way of Maddie's site - I am so so so very sorry to hear of your loss. :( I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that you are in and hope that you have supportive and loving people to lean on right now.

    Warmly,
    Linda

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  21. Oh, Paige, I don't know. I would think probably not for a while. Just know that so many of us are thinking of you and your sweet boy, and wishing you at least a little peace.

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  22. Getting through each moment is an accomplishment right now. You are a wonderful person and it is so unfair you have to go through this horrific time. Let yourself grieve your child, he was with you far too short a time. Thinking of you both.

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  23. I wish that I could give you a big hug Paige and I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

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  24. Slowly, slowly...like another commentor said, one breath at a time, one step at a time...sending you loving thoughts & prayers.

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  25. Oh my dear, dear Paige. Sometimes it takes minutes, sometimes it takes years. The constant up and down is grueling.

    You can do this because sadly you have no choice. There is no way around it, only through it. I thought it got worse before it got better. Do not be alarmed if you still feel yourself sliding.

    Paige I am so very sorry he is gone. I love him too.

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